Letter to the Department Of Transport

To whom it may concern:  Infringement No: 2561124

I have awaited the moment that my Traffic Infringement notice be issued to me via post for several weeks now,  when I am not working in a busy financial industry, playing a series of sports and teaching piano lessons, I love nothing more than taking time out of my busy schedule to write letters to the wonderful Department of Transport.

This letter is in regards to the infringement number: 2561124. After reading through one of your attached documents stating that if I did nothing there is a possibility of a Sheriff demanding payment, seizing my property or me being imprisoned, I thought it would be best to take action.

Although I am aware of the existence of Sheriffs in the South of the United States, I wasn’t aware that we had a town Sheriff here, if he is anything like the ones in the movies that twist 44 Magnums around their index finger, It’d be a pleasure meeting him.

As you are probably looking at my infringement details on your P.C, you’ll notice it mentions “Failing to produce a valid ticket”. Although I am not a fan of the word “Failing”, this infringement is indeed correct. However, after dealing with your excellent and well trained service staff at Craigieburn Train Station, I noticed there was a bit more to the story

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Due to the need to budget my salary as efficiently and effectively as possible, I make it my duty to purchase weekly tickets, every Thursday. This allows me just the right amount of money each week to buy a Spring Roll for lunch, and eventually save enough money to purchase Call of Duty Black Ops for my Playstation 3.

On this particular occurrence at Craigieburn Train Station, after asking for my usual weekly ticket, I was indeed sold a daily ticket.  After foolishly believing that the Customer Service Staff had the capacity and tertiary qualifications to issue me with the correct ticket, I realised the next day that it was indeed a daily ticket, while walking through the barriers at the very busy Melbourne Central Railway Station.

I was then approached by the always friendly Ticket Inspection Officers who noticed my dilemma and decided to report me.  I then explained to the two taller and physically superior officers that it was a mistake and I can show my internet bank statement on my new Iphone 4 that I am renown for purchasing weekly tickets for approximately 7 months on the same day every week. 

My Iphone4 is with Vodafone and they are quite popular for having poor reception, and due to this I could not bring up my bank statement to prove my case. This whole complication could have been avoided if I chose to purchase the HTC Desire HD2 with Telstra Mobile instead.

 After considering giving them a fake Given and Surname for myself, I came to my senses and realised, I have broken the law, and I am a menace to society that did not have a valid met card ticket, I needed to be punished and stopped immediately.

As per the above paragraphs, I wish to have my infringement of $176.00 waived. I await your speedy reply.

PS: Below I have attached a picture of Puss in Boots putting on an adorable face in the DreamWorks movie Shrek 2. Please accept this as my apology.