Moments Just Before Pain

Only Slightly Funny Video Accidents

This is awesome

Jaime Laycock

The interview with Jaime may have been postponed.... But she still loves us.

You need to vote for this local talent to become the next Bra's & Things Model. Fans of MontPontTime. Follow these instructions.

Step 1. CLICK THIS http://www.facebook.com/brasnthings?sk=app_190322544333196

Step2.  “Like “the page first (this allows you to vote)

Step 2. Click on the “Model Search” tab on the left hand side of the page, (below the profile picture)

Step3. Click on “This Week’s Top 24”

Step4. Click on photo “JAIMIE.L”under the VIC/TAS column

Step5. Click the “Like” Button on Jaime’s profile. 

Interview set for Mid-September

Funny Moments in Sport

This Dad Rocks

Donald Trumps New Luxury Plane

Voldemort Hugging Draco Awkward

Guile from StreetFighters' theme goes with any video. Just watch

De-Motivationals

NATIONAL DEMONIZING COMPETITION SUPER MEGA McAWESOME DRAW

So it has finally happened. Welcome to the National Demonizing Competition. For the month of August/September (August 15 - September 7) We will be holding a a competition for the best demonizing photo submitted. If you do not know what demonizing is, Please see Demonizing Concepts and Europe Demonizing for a "how to" and some examples.

Yes, we at Mont Pont Time are giving away prizes. The way we will be doing this is a little different to other prize draws.

The 1st place contestant will receive 3 Items from Mont's Draw. This could be anything from Shopping vouchers to exploding golf balls... And everything in between. How good is your luck of the draw?

The 2nd Place contestant will receive 2 items from Mont's Draw

The 3rd Place contestant will receive 1 item from Mont's Draw.

Email your photos to montponttime@hotmail.com

The competition will end 7th of September when we will choose the top 5. The top 3 will be voted by the public

Terms and conditions

• Pictures must be submitted via email to montponttime@hotmail.com
• Pictures must be spontaneous and not planned with friends.
• Must be submitted by September 7, 12:00pm EST
• In the subject line you must include your first name and state from where you reside. (e.g, John - NSW)
• The email address your photo is being sent from must be an email address we can contact you through ( to give you your prizes ) 
• Submitting your demonizing photos to our email address gives us permission to post the photos onto this blog. 
• You can ask for your photo to be taken down at any time by emailing montponttime@hotmail.com with a turn around time of 24 - 48 hours. This may forfeit your position in the competition. 
• Prizes will be drawn at random on video, and posted onto the blog. Your prize can be posted or can be picked up.

Lady Loses Her Patience On Live Tv

Great Shut-Down On Australian News.

Second Letter to Department of Transport

Dear Mr Ron Weasley

I am referring again to ticket infringement number <               >   for "failure to provide a valid ticket". As you are probably aware by now, this is my second letter to your prestigious office and I've slowly developed an addiction to writing to your team.

I am writing to you today to appeal my rejection letter which I received in conjunction with my initial appeal letter.
As I am reading through your rejection letter Ron I begin to ask myself the three following questions
1. Did Ron actually take the time to read through my previous letter?
2. Has Ron not seen the Dream Works production Shrek 2?

I once knew an individual with the same name as yourself. Although he was an overall smart young adult, his constant attempts to get into a sexual relationship with his wizard friend Hermoine frustrated me.

I understand the frustration you must take on board when you see a trouble maker like myself attempt to squirm his way out of a ticket infringement, so in this case I have decided to bite the bullet, and arrange for relevant payment. A few months after ordering Foxtel for my family I once saw a Chuck Norris movie where he actually caught a bullet in his mouth. It seemed to deter his enemy from further attacks. I am hoping this has had the same affect on yourself.

Due to my lack of funding at this particular time. I have decided to take a different, yet fair attempt to pay you this outstanding balance of $176.00. I once witnessed a fellow named David Thorne pay an outstanding balance with something other than cash, that he believed was valued close to the same amount. I will arrange payment in the same way.

Below is a picture I have designed for you using Microsoft Paint in Windows 7.

As you can see it is a picture of one of your comfortable and always punctual trains. I value this picture at $176.00. This settles the outstanding balance from my ticket infringement notice. 

As you were so speedy in your reply from my initial letter, I have decided to make a portrait of you in which you can pin up on your wall, or even utilise as your Facebook Display photo. 

Please take this portrait as a Thank You for your time. 

Regards

New Logo

Could not help but express my anger toward a service.

Official dictionary

Although Mont Pont Time has two directors. There is a large team that really gives mont pont time that special edge. Below is the official dictionary as at today of our crew. We have attached this because if you ever meet us, this dictionary will help you understand what the  we are saying as best as possible.

Lee shyt = holy crap.
E.g.
Person 1: Dude did you see that chick, she was wearing nothing !
Person 2: lee shyt

Boiler = a particular individual who is both draining and a buzz kill.

Traceys = a women's breasts that are bigger then average.

Bag of dicks = another term for the word "bullshit". Word can also be substituted as bag of tricks, vix, bricks or anything rhyming depending on ones mood.

Catcha = another term for goodbye. But not used when your actually leaving but just during standard conversation after a good point is made.

Wahaa = the sound waluigi makes In Mario kart. Can be used at anytime for any reason.

Take care of it = to pick up a female efficiently and smoothly. Can be used past tense. Took care of it or as a question. Did you take care of it ?

Model = any female who is rated 7 and above. Do not actually have to be a model for work.

Tarnished = a word to describe someone who has earned little respect from his/her peers.

Warcards = a game where the person with the lowest card must perform an act which leads to an instant loss of dignity. See: punishment bible

Year of it = a year where excellent events are forecasted.

Sifting = when someone In a relationship is harmlessly flirting with someone other then their partner.

Tripping balls = having a dizzy , loss of vision like sensation. May be due to illicit drug use or inappropriate lenses for your reading glasses

Wreck = Someone who is embarrassing. Tends to have little shame

Space time continuum = the process of entering an invisible forcefield of seduction, and alternative strategies to seducing the opposite sex.

Daw Bullsheh = Another way of saying "Oh, Bullshit?" Can sound different depending on dialect. May also be pronounced "Doah Busre" Or Daw? For short.

Bounce!

This is what the video clip for Calvin Harris - Bounce should have been

Demonizing In Europe

Demonizing Concepts 101

The difference between Demonizing and standard photo bombing is the consistent facial expression while Demonizing  Although there are a few different varieties of the expression, overall Demonizing is relatively consistent and easy to do. It can be done to anybody at any time somebody is capturing a precious moment with a camera. 

Figure 1.1 Pont from Mont Pont Time Shows Traits of Great Demonizing.

As you can see, eyebrows go into a frowning motion, Hands tend to raise above the head of the victim. The lower jaw is strategically placed out in front of the rest of the mouth, giving an under-bite affect. 

Gutsy Demonizing photos are considered rare and valuable. 

This may include the demonization of Police Officers, Government Officials or Famous figures in the media. 

Please see below for how the act of Demonizing should not be done. 

Figure 1.2 Pont from Mont Pont Time shows negative traits of demonizing

As you can see here Pont shows bad signs of demonizing, athough his hands are raised and has the facial traits, his victim is looking directly at him and probably wondering "Why is this man doing this to me?"

As mentioned earlier, this is not the only way to effectively demonize. One can use their imagination when it comes to the dis figuration of the face. Although Pont has been busted in the act. The number 1 rule of Demonizing is that you must go through with the photo that you once intended to demonize, no matter what it takes, or what they say to you. 

Feel free to enter in your Demonizing photos to montponttime@hotmail.com

If you dare. 

Mont
of Mont Pont Time

The Girl Paradox

Letter to the Department Of Transport

To whom it may concern:  Infringement No: 2561124

I have awaited the moment that my Traffic Infringement notice be issued to me via post for several weeks now,  when I am not working in a busy financial industry, playing a series of sports and teaching piano lessons, I love nothing more than taking time out of my busy schedule to write letters to the wonderful Department of Transport.

This letter is in regards to the infringement number: 2561124. After reading through one of your attached documents stating that if I did nothing there is a possibility of a Sheriff demanding payment, seizing my property or me being imprisoned, I thought it would be best to take action.

Although I am aware of the existence of Sheriffs in the South of the United States, I wasn’t aware that we had a town Sheriff here, if he is anything like the ones in the movies that twist 44 Magnums around their index finger, It’d be a pleasure meeting him.

As you are probably looking at my infringement details on your P.C, you’ll notice it mentions “Failing to produce a valid ticket”. Although I am not a fan of the word “Failing”, this infringement is indeed correct. However, after dealing with your excellent and well trained service staff at Craigieburn Train Station, I noticed there was a bit more to the story

.

Due to the need to budget my salary as efficiently and effectively as possible, I make it my duty to purchase weekly tickets, every Thursday. This allows me just the right amount of money each week to buy a Spring Roll for lunch, and eventually save enough money to purchase Call of Duty Black Ops for my Playstation 3.

On this particular occurrence at Craigieburn Train Station, after asking for my usual weekly ticket, I was indeed sold a daily ticket.  After foolishly believing that the Customer Service Staff had the capacity and tertiary qualifications to issue me with the correct ticket, I realised the next day that it was indeed a daily ticket, while walking through the barriers at the very busy Melbourne Central Railway Station.

I was then approached by the always friendly Ticket Inspection Officers who noticed my dilemma and decided to report me.  I then explained to the two taller and physically superior officers that it was a mistake and I can show my internet bank statement on my new Iphone 4 that I am renown for purchasing weekly tickets for approximately 7 months on the same day every week. 

My Iphone4 is with Vodafone and they are quite popular for having poor reception, and due to this I could not bring up my bank statement to prove my case. This whole complication could have been avoided if I chose to purchase the HTC Desire HD2 with Telstra Mobile instead.

 After considering giving them a fake Given and Surname for myself, I came to my senses and realised, I have broken the law, and I am a menace to society that did not have a valid met card ticket, I needed to be punished and stopped immediately.

As per the above paragraphs, I wish to have my infringement of $176.00 waived. I await your speedy reply.

PS: Below I have attached a picture of Puss in Boots putting on an adorable face in the DreamWorks movie Shrek 2. Please accept this as my apology. 

Invoice

Feel free to send out an Invoice when a girl doesn't reply to your text message.

Job		Payment Terms
Text message reimbursement		For lack of ability to return a text message.
Description	Total
Text Message Reimbursement	$0.25
12/12/2010
+ GST	$0.025
Sub Total	$0.28
+ Inflation	$0.0084
Total Due	$0.29
Make all checks payable to Mont Pont Enterprises Pty Ltd Thank you for your business! Mont-Pont Enterprises  26 Pont avenue St Kilda,Melbourne  Phone [000-000-0000]  Fax [000-000-0000]  Montponttime@hotmail.com